I saw doubt.

I saw doubt this week.

I don't even remember why I was looking for it. I may have just seen it floating around by someone's head. We were sitting there in church, and I guess I thought: I wonder what doubt looks like.

And there it was!

To me, it looked sort of like this:

Image here.

Kind of like a spiky ball in shades of blue.

As soon as I started looking for them, I saw them all over the place. People doubt a lot of things. But the more faith you have, the fewer doubts appear.

I haven't done much work with doubts, since I only just saw them for the first time recently. I wonder if you could command for them to go and be replaced with faith.

The second verse of "Our Savior's Love" comes into my mind:

The Spirit, voice
Of goodness, whispers to our hearts
A better choice
Than evil's anguished cries.
Loud may the sound
Of hope ring till all doubt departs,
And we are bound
To him by loving ties.

The idea of sound vibration (the sound of hope ringing loudly) forcing molecules of doubt to depart really goes along with some things I've previously blogged about. I wonder if being exposed to certain sound currents--scripture, Conference talks, kundalini mantras--actually literally destroy the energy balls of doubt and replace them with faith, or just remove them entirely.

All spirit is matter and it can be seen.

UNDERSTAND.

I had a falling out with a friend once. Okay, it's happened a few times. I'll admit it. Never fun. Even when I don't get along with my friends, I still love them. I always love them. I can tell you the phone number and birthday of my best friend from kindergarten and we haven't talked in probably fifteen years.

Every relationship we have in this life is important. Yes, this includes the "relationships" that incur when we bump into strangers on the street. When we smile at people we pass at the grocery store. Even people we just look at or who just look at us. Every interaction is sacred.

This is especially true for our close relationships. We learn so, so much from our friends and our family. And when there is a falling out... it's a big deal. It is always a big deal.

The way to make heartbreak worth it is to learn from it. I've been working on that for a while now. What am I supposed to learn from this? I have a list of stuff. But earlier tonight it became clear to me that there is still more I need to learn. I can't make everything better, but Jesus can. Jesus always can make everything better--whatever that means to Him and in His perfect timing.

Tonight I was sitting there thinking of all the ways I felt misinterpreted and judged in one of my several friendship-falling-outs. I thought: if only they understood! If only they could have a little window into my heart and realize what I actually meant!

And I felt called out on it. It was that still small voice saying: "SEE! That is your problem! Sometimes you just have to accept that other people will not understand--and sometimes, you have to be the one that does the understanding."

And so I know what I need to do. I need to get on my knees and understand. I have felt like I already understood a significant part of their perspective. But I know that can't be true or else I would feel so much compassion that every negative feeling would be washed away. Their viewpoints are valid, their viewpoints are understandable, their viewpoints deserve recognition and appreciation and honor. Their paradigm has been formed by years of experiences and thousands of tiny moments that all deserve to be honored. I know that if I truly understood where they were coming from, truly understood as they understand where they are coming from, things would be so very different.

When we truly, truly understand where other people are coming from, there is only love. If there is something obstructing our love for others, it is because we do not understand them.

This whole time I've felt so misunderstood it clouded my ability to understand clearly the other half of the equation.

Here is what I want to say:

Feeling misunderstood?

Take a deep breath and realize the other person is feeling misunderstood too.

Because if we all understood, there would be no more conflict or judgment.

I want to understand you.

I want to understand everything so thoroughly that every bristling judgment is replaced with nothing but love and compassion.

When we know, truly know, what a good-hearted person has gone through and what went into their thought processes and decisions, compassion is the only option.

That compassion for others is necessary to feel the godly sorrow necessary for repentance. It has been my observation and experience that you can't really repent of something until you've felt its full weight on you. It's part of agency. Informed consent. If you want Jesus to fix it for you, you need to understand what you're handing over.

Send me compassion. Send me a perfect understanding.

Image found here.

I have a blog entry I've been working on for years that's right at the top of my draft page. It's tentatively titled, "I don't want to be your guru."

I don't want to be your guru. I'm not perfect. I'm just a person. Don't make me your guru.

If you want to be heard, I want to hear you. If you want to be heard, I want to hear you. Being understood is nice, but I think I'm finally understanding that being understood is far less important than being the one to understand. Some people will never understand. But I don't want to be one of those people.

If I've hurt you, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you.

In my work, one thing I am learning and have learned is that one of the most powerful forms of service and of healing is to validate, to honor, to listen and affirm I understand. So many things are ready to be healed if someone out there will just listen to them and honor them. 

Be a person who understands.

Be a person who understands.

what if it's all exactly right?

What if everything that happens today is right?

What if you already agreed to everything that has happened, that is happening, that will happen in your life?

What if your spirit knew in advance what it was signing up for, and shouted with joy despite it all?

What if every pain encountered in this life was expressly designed to give opportunities to grow closer to God?

What if we were the ones who expressly co-designed these trial-opportunities for ourselves?


What if every loss, every pain, every sorrow, came with a blessing?

What if all those blessings were conditional only on our acceptance--our acceptance of the situation, and of the blessing?

What if we are already surrounded by blessings we just don't see?

What if we had eyes to see them?

is your psyche split?

I had the privilege recently of working on a client with multiple personalities. After about four hours of work we were able to integrate all 16 personalities. They were easy to identify because they all had different names and ages.

The next day, I had a spark of insight. I've been working on and off on a hard case for several years now. Energy work just seems to do so little for this person. But that next day I had an epiphany:

Image here.

This person's psyche was split. She had 21 different personalities... only  they all had her same name! How would you ever get diagnosed with multiple personality disorder if all your personalities had your same name? Seems like it would be a lot harder.
Since then, I've been adding psyche splits (multiple personalities) to my list of things to check for in clients. It appears to be actually more normal than not to have a split personality--typically the split is small, but often it's not small. This explains so much about those for whom energy work has not stuck.

If you have struggled with ineffective energy work, find a practitioner to look into the possibility of a split psyche that can be healed and put back together again. After that's complete, have them set the intention that all previously done energy work be applied to the reintegrated psyche. See what happens!

your body is your FRIEND

In recent weeks, I've come to a startling realization:

No matter how messed up your body seems, over and over again, I find: your body is your friend.

Struggling with weight issues?

I've gotten in tune with several ladies struggling with weight loss, and over and over again, their bodies explain that they are just trying to serve their owners as ideally as possible. These bodies literally view their holding onto excess weight as a service to the spirit occupying them.

Maybe you have a fear of being thin--thinking that thin equals beautiful and beautiful equals... something bad. Maybe you have a deep seated fear of pride, and you fear being beautiful would make you proud. Maybe you have a deep seated fear of sexual abuse, and you fear being thin would make abuse more likely. In these cases, your body would respond to you out of love and protect you in the best way it knows how: it would shelter you from your fears by holding onto weight.

Maybe you have an ancestral fear of starvation. What better gift can your body give you than the gift of ensuring that you will not starve? Even if it is by pressuring you into chronic overeating, even if it is by decreasing your motivation to exercise.

Struggling with chronic pain or fatigue? You may have a deeply subconscious program running that applies to that, too. Maybe you feel a subconscious need to punish yourself with physical pain. Maybe your subconscious wants an excuse to not do things that you would otherwise force yourself to do. In these cases, your body responds. Want an excuse not to do X or Y? Here is a gift of chronic fatigue. Want to punish yourself for a choice you made or a feeling you had once? Here is a gift of chronic pain.

Our bodies long to please us. Only, they respond to the subconscious's most strongly-held desires. Every perceived ailment in our body is a gift. 

A gift of cancer may be your body's gift of inspiring you to find emotional healing--to learn forgiveness, love, and peace through Jesus.

A gift of being tired is your body's way of helping you realize you need more sleep. 

A gift of being hungry is your body's cry for nourishment--either physical OR emotional.

The aches and pains and injuries of this life are opportunities our bodies are giving us to make manifest the works of God in us. They are not punishments. They are gifts.

It's been on my to-do list to blog about the energy of weight loss but this had to come first. 

Our bodies are our FRIENDS.

YOUR BODY IS YOUR FRIEND.

Sat nam!

New Year's meditation challenge!

Hello, all! Happy new year!

This year, I am sponsoring a challenge: you are all challenged to a forty day meditation. I've blogged about meditation basics before, but I'll rehash it all here.

Here's how it will work:

You will email me and commit to 40 consecutive days of meditation. Yes, it means that if you mess up, you need to start over. That is okay! You can totally do it!

Then, your days start! You'll keep a log of the date and time that you meditate, and what meditations you do. When 40 consecutive days are reached, you'll email me your log.

What do you win?

You win a free session! Yippee!

That is associated with 40 consecutive days of the Kirtan Kriya--if you go ahead and add the meditation to heal addictions to your sadhana, or daily meditation practice, I'll go ahead and add two more sessions gratis. Awesome! These can be used for yourself or a friend or loved one.

The challenge is on!

~~

MEDITATION VIDEOS

Tune In:


Kirtan Kriya:



Good KK video to sing along to:


Meditation to Heal Addictions:



Tune Out:



Let the challenge begin!!

charging the dantian

One of my new year goals is to master the art of charging my dantian centers. I invite you to also make this goal.

The dantian centers are located around the 2nd, 4th, and 6th chakras. They are separate from the chakras and store prana/chi. Having a good store of chi prevents illness and helps keep the emotions stable and the aura strong.

You can muscle test or pray about how "full" your dantian centers are. Looking at my own, I find that over the past 30 days, my dantian centers have had the following averages:

- forehead point dantian center: 62%
- heart dantian center: 56%
- sacral dantian center: 12%

So my big focus in the past week has been to charge up that sacral chakra dantian. Today it is about 50% charged. I've been working hard.

This is how you charge your dantian points.

Focus on the ones you want to charge.

Exhale as completely as possible.

Exhale a little more than that.

Now take a huge inhale through the nose and imagine sucking in a bunch of golden prana on the air, golden prana that sinks into each center you are focusing on. As you practice, envision your dantians getting bigger and brighter and brighter. Practice for five minutes.

The dantian is also known as the danjeon, dan tian, tan tian, tantien, etc. It's a transliteration and the original word is not well known.

Post questions or observations in the comments.

Happy new year!!