This year, as my New Year's Resolution, I committed to embrace my full yin (feminine) energy. I am blogging about that elsewhere more completely. But I wanted to write about some of my experiences with this resolution here.
I have been very yang, masculine, for my whole life: very active, demanding of myself and probably others, always doing. But I was very into the idea of congruence: having your actions match your desires.
Congruence means that when you decide you want something, you change your actions to match.
Incongruence is like in the Bible when it talks about how the people draw near to the Lord with their lips, but in their hearts are far from Him.
Congruence is the "sincerity of intent" mentioned in the Book of Mormon, in Moroni's promise. It is the commitment to fully change your life depending on the truths you receive.
In a lot of ways I have been very congruent. When I decided to lose weight, I gave up all processed foods and started working out daily. And it worked.
When I decided to graduate early from high school, I took night school and got waivers and jumped through every hoop.
When I decided to find a spouse, I started wearing makeup and heels and skirts on a regular basis and making it a point to meet guys and flirt with them.
Walking the talk. This is congruence.
But what I recently realized is that while I was congruent to a degree, congruent with regards to my conscious desires, I was not congruent with my divine nature as a woman. A bunch of random experiences and revelations led me to my study of what I am terming Christian dualism--the concept of yin and yang as expressed in the Tao Teh Ching, from a Christian, and specifically Mormon, perspective.
I discovered a lot of things, which, as I said, I am blogging elsewhere, but the point is, I realized I was not living in harmony (or congruence) with my nature as a feminine being, and I decided that had to change. This year is my Year of Yin. One thing that I committed to on New Year's Eve of 2013 was to spend this year embracing everything yin--which includes all things non-logical. Yang is logic, yin is intuition (non-logical thought). So for this year, as I discover what it means to be governed by feminine energy, I've committed to embrace my intuitions.
It's been crazy.
Just a few hours after I made this commitment, I got my first non-logical thought: I urgently had to visit a friend and do some jin shin jyutsu and quantum touch on her. It felt like a prompting from the Holy Spirit, and I honestly believe it was. I fought the prompting for a few hours, because 1) this was crazy talk--I barely knew this girl and lots of people think energy work period is pretty strange--let alone an energy worker showing up on their doorstep claiming to have received direction to work a person--and 2) this revelation was received at 4 am on New Year's Day, so I figured this lady would be asleep anyway, but eventually I went over and did the work. It turned out to be not that weird, and actually good and important. I felt a peace during and afterwards that I had done the right thing, and afterwards when I googled the strange things that I sensed during the session, I discovered things too coincidental to be coincidence. Fodder for another post.
So anyway, 2014 started off crazy, with a vision in the early hours of how to help a woman I care about but don't know very well. And since that early moment when I first acted on my intuitions, things have just gotten crazier.
We are only 3 weeks into 2014, but already I feel I have been led to do any number of very non-logical things. All with strange but good results.
I've been prompted to write and mail a letter to a girl I haven't spoken with in years.
I've been prompted to visit women I don't know--women I haven't even met.
I've been prompted to offer energy therapy to random people I didn't even know were having problems. People I didn't know would be open to it.
People I barely know--and in some cases don't know--come up to me and tell me things that randomly have everything to do with my current life journey.
Random people have given me books and vital information regarding my spiritual journey--completely unprompted by me.
I have been bombarded with the strangest synchronicitous events. I offer a brief example: I was doing an energy session on a friend, and I felt led to make her a spray with clove oil as a principal ingredient. Didn't know why, but I did it. Then a mentor of mine called me up and suggested that I make an essential oil spray for this friend (after I'd already done that!). She mentioned the use of essential oils to raise a person's resonance level. So I researched human resonance and essential oil resonance, only to discover that clove oil has a very, very high resonance level--a notably high level--and in the article about clove oil resonance that I found, it mentioned Hildegard von Bingen, a woman most people have never heard of, but whom I have actually spent literally dozens of hours researching the heck out of. I've even written a novella about her (unpublished). I took a whole class on just her in college. Bizarre, right? I never read about her these days. Apparently she wrote about cloves in her medical journals. Strange, strange, strange.
So anyway, weird but good things are happening, and I 100% attribute it to my embracing my yin energy and fully honoring the non-logical in my life--going out of my way to notice the intuitive ideas that enter my mind and going out of my way to act on them. I have felt very led by the Holy Spirit. I have been learning so much about the gospel. My weird promptings increase as I pray and study my scriptures.
In 2008, an old man, an LDS bishop (but not my bishop), told me (in more Westernized language) that my yin and yang were out of balance. He said that once I fully embraced my feminine energy, by embracing the non-logical and intuitive in my life, it would awaken my healing energy. Is this not very very strange? This is exactly what is happening to me.
Anyway. This has been super on my mind because I am currently working through the strangest, hardest prompting yet and I've been more than a little stressed over it. But it is yin to relax and to trust, and I've been trying to do that: God's not going to let me mess up when I'm only doing something because of a prompting from the Holy Spirit. Even if it's hard and weird.
I've already seen miracles this year. Here's to seeing another one today!