Wednesday, April 23, 2014

clairvoyance, spiritual gifts, and the perils of analytic overlay

A pic that came up when I Googled "clairvoyance."
The word "clairvoyance" means "clear-seeing." To me, it means seeing things as they really are, enjoying the gift of prophecy and discernment. Seeing, or rather, almost visually discerning, spiritual things more literally than metaphorically.

Surprisingly, it took me a long time of experiencing clairvoyance, clear-seeing, discernment, before I bothered to Google about it. I have no idea why. Usually if anything comes up in my life at all, the first thing that happens is I Google it. Anyway.

From here.
When I finally did start poking around on the Internet for answers, I was troubled because there didn't seem to be a lot that came up from an LDS perspective. At the time I did not fully understand that my experiences were actually gifts of the spirit (see 1 Cor. 12:9-10, Moroni 10:8-18), signs that follow faith in Jesus Christ (see Mark 16:17-18, Mormon 9:24, D&C 84:65-70). Even though they are literally listed in my personal scriptures. By which I mean patriarchal blessing. Well, let's just say I am not always as smart as I think I am! Ha!

And let's just say, we tend not to talk very much about experiencing the full range of the gift of discernment at church. We tend to focus on... I'm not sure what, really. I always thought the gift of discernment was about being able to know if a person was bad or good. But it actually can be so much more than that--so much more than that--if a person is open to it and ready for it.

And when we talk about gifts of healing in church, it seems fairly limited to the laying on of hands in a priesthood sense, rather than in the sense of--someone with the gift of healing can actually lay their hands you. And watch you get better right away. Even if they have not been ordained to the priesthood. Even if they're a girl. (Don't tell Ordain Women!)

(I kid.)

(Okay, only kind of. Maybe someone should tell them, actually.)

(I am totally blogging about this spiritual gifts/Ordain Women thing later.)

When I began searching online though, for more information about what was happening to me, up came a website about Mormon remote viewing. It blew my mind and was awesome. I ordered the author's book on the government's remote viewing program. It was a fascinating read and very helpful to me personally in understanding what was happening with my brain from a technical and spiritual perspective. Note: it is a history of the military psychic espionage program, not a spiritual text or something like that. All people with an interest in any type of parapsychology (or "psi"), regardless of spiritual background, would find it interesting and very possibly enlightening. For me, it just happened to resound spiritually at times.

One thing that really stood out to me from the book was Smith's discussion of "AOL," or "analytic overlay." This is what happens when the left brain, the logical side, tries to analyze what the right brain is perceiving.

In remote viewing, it presents like this: you focus your mind on your coordinates, and you see
something red... round... shiny. "An apple!" you assume, thanks to analytic overlay, AOL.

Now perhaps your assumption that what you've seen is an apple will affect your interpretation of the rest of the scene. You see a bunch of green things... leaves. Must be leaves. Tree leaves. Apple leaves, even. It's harder to stick to the facts, the raw data, because you've already decided on the context.

Even if the context is wrong.

This can result in embarrassing mistakes. Yes, using every adjective in the book to describe the apple-like object besides the word "apple" might be a pain, but the fact remains: when it comes to things seen with second sight, with the gift of discernment, an apple is not always an apple. Sometimes it's just something red and round and shiny and about the size of a fist and found in a kitchen. Sometimes it's actually a tomato. And sometimes the green leaves are lettuce.

Sometimes when you think you're seeing an apple on a tree, it's really just a salad. Same data: bad logic.

I've have had a number of experiences already with analytic overlay and I don't love them. But they've been teaching me a lot.

Recently, I had an experience in theta where a person's Higher Self gave me a holy book and requested me to integrate it into the Lower Self's heart chakra. I did at first, then undid it because Lower Self didn't know that I'd done it and it felt wrong to do that. Then I had occasion to go back into theta and have a conversation with God about it all, and since the answers He gave me were basically in scriptural format, I left the conversation assuming I knew which holy book it was. Turns out I was incorrect. But that was the information I passed on, thanks to my unintentional analytic overlay. Thankfully the other party involved was in tune enough with her two selves, Lower and Higher, to figure out what holy book was actually in play here. But my AOL threw an accidental wrench into the works, without me even realizing that was the case at the time.

As another example, I was working on another person for a random problem, and while I was attempting to fix the physical problem, I had a vision of the person's cerebrospinal chakra system and the translation of what each chakra's formation meant--well, or a partial translation. I saw the basics. I saw the people involved, the events that had transpired, and the spiritual effects of an accidental choice that had gotten way out of control--an event that had eventually played a part in the physical injury I was working to heal.

Later, I passed on the information I had seen to the client's parents, who I thought deserved to know. It was only afterwards that I realized that perhaps I had couched some of the things I had seen in terms that were not entirely accurate to the images I had viewed. Looking back, I was mostly accurate. I would have changed a single word in my explanation. But a single word can make all the difference. Apple, tomato. At the time, I thought I was being accurate.
Optic nerve.

And there is the problem! That pesky thinking!

A final example--there's a guy I interact with a lot whose eye area, behind the eye, looked very, very intensely dark to me. To the point I was privately concerned it was a cancer of the optic nerve. I would pester this guy to go see an eye doctor already. This was over the course of weeks, that I pestered him... and then one day, he came to me and announced, "I scheduled an appointment with the eye doctor!"

And I looked at him, and realized: I didn't see the darkness anymore. Weird. It had been so bad I had seriously thought it was cancerous. It had gotten to the point where looking at this guy's face was almost unbearable for me because the darkness was so distracting. And yet now there was nothing. And I thought: Well, maybe my second sight is taking the day off. Surely the darkness is still there. And I said nothing.

Well, lo and behold, he went to the eye doctor, and nothing was wrong. And then I just was kicking myself over it all, for not saying the 100% truth as I saw it, instead of as I thought it.

Everybody have a logical time.
What I have been discovering is that the left brain can be quite insidious. The tendency to logically analyze is innate, and in our culture, it is more than just innate, it is encouraged--while we are taught to distrust emotional things that comes up in our lives. If it's not logical, it can't be trusted. And the non-logical is practically reviled. It is so bad that this year, when I decided to make this my Year of Yin and embrace the right brain 100%, I couldn't even bring myself to state that I planned to embrace the illogical thoughts that would come up in my brain. To me, the word "illogical" seems almost morally wrong in connotation. Thus I have so far used the word "non-logical" instead. Somehow, it seems less wrong to be non-logical than illogical.

The hardest part, and the kindest part, to realize is that AOL happens to the best of us. It's the kind of problem that takes professional, government-employed remote viewers many, many hours of practice to eliminate. And further, it's a problem that can happen to someone even with good intentions. I would never intentionally lead a person astray with my interpretations of my discernment; but somehow, that left brain just creeps in and overlays things.

I love that term, by the way. Analytic overlay. It just has this wonderful implication of undue logical analysis just lying on top of what you're actually seeing. It takes away that horrible sense of choosing--that horrible sense that you've sinned in accidentally analyzing when in reality, your choices had almost nothing to do with the overlay. It was just something that happened.

Of course, that is only true if your overlay is actually accidental. So far, mine invariably have been. There are, however, cases Paul H. Smith outlined in his book of remote viewers choosing to use the left brain to evaluate the right brain. (It always ends badly.)

Still, it's not always a conscious choice to misunderstand what is seen. It's actually the natural state of things. The natural man, if you will (link to 1 Cor. 2:14). The natural man is too busy forcing everything he senses to fit into his limited understanding of the world to realize-- 

Ah, so you already understand the whole universe? OK!!

the world is far vaster than he can possibly imagine. 

And what do you do when you see something that you don't know the word for?

What do you do when your sight, your discernment, exceeds your vocabulary?

It is the natural thing to do to make it make sense. To use words you know to describe something you cannot know. It is something our minds do without our permission and without our direction.

It is understandable, it is natural, it is normal. But I'm still tired of it.

Here's to me renewing my commitment to avoiding AOL. Man cannot always make sense of the things of God. We just need to trust that He knows more than we do and resist forcing our visions into frames that just don't fit.
Our frames are not God's frame. The end.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

forgiveness, standards, and spiritual membranes

Everything is energy. Everything is vibration; it's just that some things vibrate at a higher speed than others. All matter is simply energy at varying levels of density.

Cell walls and biofields are semi-permeable, to allow nutrients in and waste out.
The biofield, the energetic boundary around the body, is a semi-permeable membrane. It allows energy in and out. The body has semi-permeable membranes too--the mucus membranes in particular, such as those of the nose or mouth or eyeballs. Even the skin is semi-permeable. These physical semi-permeable membranes also allow energy in and out. This energy can be tangible, such as the energy that makes up the chair you are sitting on, or the food you are eating, or intangible, such as the thoughts sent in your direction or the thoughts you are thinking yourself.

A rendition of a human surrounded by the biofield.
I have been learning over the course of months that it is the semi-permeable nature of our various energetic/spiritual membranes and physical bodily membranes that makes it so important to guard our inputs. Our energetic inputs, in the form of thoughts and so forth, as I blogged earlier, but also our more physical inputs: the things we hear, the things we see, the things we wear, the things we eat. Everything we interact with interacts with our semi-permeable membranes and some of that energy--sometimes much of it or even all of it--can end up absorbed into our body or our energetic system.

To put it another way: everything we interact with leaves a physical change in our physical and subtle bodies.

The scriptural case for the literal recording of events in our bodies

Consider 2 Corinthians 3:3, which contains the imagery of Christian discipleship being "written, not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God" on the "fleshy tables of the heart."

The human heart.
This corresponds with Mosiah 13:11, in which Abinadi claims that he "perceives" that the commandments of God are "not written in your hearts" (referring to the hearts of the wicked priests of King Noah). This scripture stands out to me because this is exactly how I would describe the sensation I have experienced, of perceiving what is and is not a part of someone's energetic or even physical body.

In Jeremiah 31:33, Jeremiah explains that in the last days, the Lord would introduce a new covenant, and that the Lord would "put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts."

There are plenty more scriptures in all the Standard Works that agree at least literally with this idea of things being written on our hearts. The obvious implication is that the things we do and think and are become a literal part of our flesh that can be read.

The case for caution in energetic and material inputs

In my research, I discovered a common warning that comes along with frequent use of theta brain states: theta states often result in spontaneous manifestations of the things a person thinks about. As I have been spending more and more of my time in a waking theta state, I've felt much more aware of how many things have the opportunity to permeate my semi-permeable membranes, both spiritual and physical. I've been more and more discerning in my choices of environments and thought patterns because I don't want to accidentally manifest something horrible in my life just because I saw something about it on TV or something.

Image here.
PS, when we're doing it right, prayer can put the brain in a theta state. The more time you spend praying, like really praying (not that half-hearted stuff we kind of emit right before dinnertime sometimes when we're very hungry), the more likely you are to manifest the things you pray for or about. This includes the negative things we pray about--the things we don't want to happen. This is why it is important to frame prayers from a place of gratitude and humble requests of what we do want.

This ability to manifest anything that is floating around in our systems adds a level of seriousness to the things we surround ourselves with:
The music we listen to in the car.

The TV shows we watch at night.

The words we speak and hear throughout the day.

The books we read.

The pictures we see.

The food we eat.

The clothes we wear.

The thoughts we think.

The people or things we allow to touch our private parts.

Every thing we interact with or allow near--or especially in--our biofield or body has the opportunity to permeate our semi-permeable membranes and lodge there, causing good if it's a good thing or bad if it's a bad thing. Remember how the scriptures said that righteousness and discipleship can be written on the heart? So can sin.

Darkness, sin, and the importance of forgiveness

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that sin isn't just our actively negative actions against others--it's also our choice, conscious or subconscious, to not forgive those who have sinned against us. Consider D&C 64:9-10 (emphasis mine):
 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to aforgive one another; for he that bforgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
 10 I, the Lord, will aforgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to bforgive all men.
Picture from here.
Unforgiveness allows sin to remain literally "in" us, according to a plain-and-precious literal reading of this scripture. It is my observation that unforgiveness remains etched in our bodies, in the form of darkness and "spiritual burlap" that can only be removed by the act of conscious, out-loud, for-real forgiving.

Sometimes our unforgiveness isn't malicious; it's just not a priority. It just doesn't seem important. For example, when was the last time you consciously, verbally forgave a public official you disagreed with for his negative public policies that affect your life?

When was the last time you verbally forgave a nurse for keeping you waiting at the doctor's office?

When was the last time you verbally forgave a driver for cutting you off on your way to work?

Not just shook these things off and decided to let them go, but actually, consciously decided to forgive the perpetrator for their minor wrongs? (UPDATE: Note, when I say "verbally forgave," I do mean out loud, but not necessarily when the person who wronged you is physically present!)

So many times, these minor offenses, or offenses that don't seem aimed personally at us, can just slip under our radars as things we just need to let go. But it appears to me that in reality, these issues are still trespasses, they still cause a negative energetic shift in our bodies and spirits, and they still require our conscious, chosen forgiveness, or else in us there lies the greater sin.

Note that phrasing. It is not necessarily that we are the bigger or worse sinners; it is that there is sin lying in us. The sins which affect us, though perpetrated by others, no matter how small they are, somehow may remain "in" us, according to a literal read of the scripture.

The negative energy generated by these offenses can stick with us and affect us, even if they seem minor to us and not even a big enough deal to forgive. Even a minor trespass requires our forgiveness, if it affects us negatively in any way. Even a little bit of negative, or dark, or unclean energy is too much to keep with us: no unclean thing can enter the kingdom of heaven

Living at this level of consciousness and forgiveness does require a lot of energy (ha, ha). But literally. It does. I am definitely not a master at it yet because it does require a lot. It requires a very high level of consciousness and mindfulness to go through each day aware of every thing, good and bad, that enters the biofield--and then, not just be aware, but consciously forgive with love the trespasses that cause darkness in our space. (Side note: forgiveness doesn't mean accepting sin; it means accepting another of God's children, who has sinned. It is not saying that sin is okay, because sin is never okay. It is saying that you accept the sinner despite the sin.)

The good thing is, the more we forgive, the more energy we have floating around us to help us forgive even more.

Protecting the biofield against darkness

I've been pondering how it could be that Jesus or the prophets could live with their energy basically intact despite psychic attacks of negativity on their biofields. Just think of the hate and negativity spewed every day toward our beloved Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ. Even otherwise good people openly and vilely abuse Their names and accuse Them of all sorts of false and horrible things. And yet, despite such attacks of darkness, They remain completely and only and wholly Light.

Prophets have got to be the next level of being out there as far as light in biofields goes, but of course, many prophets over history didn't keep their energies intact; think of David, who succumbed to sin, or the Brother of Jared, who forgot to pray for literal years. Clearly even big-P Prophets do not always operate at a high level of consciousness regarding their biofields.

Image here.
But it seems to me that when a person's inner soul is righteous enough, they generate enough light that their inner light prevents any darkness from entering their space. Instead of the biofield acting as a mere membrane for them, it is more like the glass of a light bulb, allowing the light of their righteousness to shine out, with no possibility of darkness entering. Consider John's description of God:
5 This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
God's person, and Jesus's person, is light, with no darkness at all. This is the promise given to us if we will keep the commandments:
  • Doctrine and Covenants 88:67 And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.
Just look at that! I had to bold the whole thing! I couldn't even help myself! What a promise! If we can keep our eyes single to God's glory, what do we get?

- whole bodies filled with light
- no darkness in us
- full comprehension of all things

What an amazing promise!

Fascinatingly, my observations have been that health, emotional, spiritual, and physical, registers as literal light emanating from a person, while disease of an emotional, physical, or spiritual nature registers as darkness. It seems to me that complete personal righteousness leads not just to full comprehension of all things and a very radiant Self, but also to complete health.
Image here.


So, to bring this full circle:

We have to guard our semi-permeable membranes.

We have to understand that the guidelines in For The Strength of Youth are more than just cute ideas: they are relevant, they are important, they pertain directly to the cleanliness and light of our spirits and our eternal salvation.

Watching a rated-R movie fills our spaces with darkness and our bodies with darkness as images seep into us through our biofields and our semi-permeable eyeball tissue.

Listening to impure music allows the darkness of it to enter our bodies through the ear canal.

Eating food or using substances prohibited by the Lord's Law of Health, or Word of Wisdom, fills our literal bodies with darkness--it's actually worse than that because the things we ingest are the building blocks for our bodies... it's not just that we eat bad things and have darkness as a result; our bodies are made of darkness as a result.

Image here.
Participating in sexual activity with anyone (including the self) outside of marriage fills us with darkness; it's actually worse than that because sexual contact of any kind outside marriage, from what I have observed, creates distorted etheric cords with the other person or even the self (in the case of self-abuse). These fracture our souls and further drain us of light.

Dishonesty stains us with darkness.

On the other hand, things For The Strength of Youth encourages, such as honesty, service, self-reliance, chastity, tithing, and so forth, actually fill us with and maintain inner light and peace.

 The Gospel is not easy, but it is simple. My recent life experiences have led me to conclude that the scriptures are much plainer than they appear to be: much of what can be mistaken for metaphor is actually literally true, if you have the eyes to see it.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Lightworker Vocabulary

I had no idea what was happening to me, when I first started seeing weird things. This is a brief list of things that you personally may or may not experience. I am writing it out because such a guide would have been really helpful for me. I've had to figure this out all alone.

I guess I'll go ahead and update this as I feel other words need to be added.

So, here are some vocabulary words for you:

Lightworker. Apparently this is a term for people who see all this kind of stuff, and further, manipulate it. "Manipulate" sounds so Machiavellian, though. What I mean is, lightworkers can distinguish light and darkness in the human energetic matrix and consciously adjust the energy.

Medical intuitive. This is the name for people who can intuit medical issues. If you can see, sense, or intuit a failing liver, a kidney stone that's still in its kidney, depression, or infertility issues, and so on, you count as a medical intuitive. 

From here.
Etheric cords. These are the lines that connect people to each other. I typically see them as blue. They connect chakra to chakra. The umbilical cord is a physical representation of the etheric cord that connects a mother's 2nd chakra to a child's 3rd chakra. But from what I have seen, mothers and fathers and their children are also connected with cords extending from the heart chakra. People in power relationships have cords that extend from the 3rd chakra. There are many types of etheric cords. They seem to enable both parties to siphon energy to and from one another. If you have a person in your life who seems to suck the energy from you, you likely have an etheric cord binding you together. This cord can be cut, and can be cut safely (except maybe in the case of small children?? Still figuring this out. Babies appear to me to be just wrapped in etheric cords tying to their mothers. They seem important to me).

Biofield captured by Kirlian photography (a real thing!).
Auras/biofields. The biofield is the energy that surrounds a person. Long before I knew what I was doing, I attempted energy work on my sick brother (using Donna Eden's confusing but sometimes helpful Energy Medicine). This was in 2009. I inserted my hands into his biofield and immediately my arms went painfully numb. I was only able to last maybe two minutes before I was so freaked out I stopped. His biofield looked black to me. That was the first time I saw a biofield. Since, I have registered darkness in biofields that correspond to people's physical ailments. For example, one person I know has a brown spot over his lung. I should probably mention it to him.

Meridians. These are the lines that extend through the body's 12 main organs. In my work, when I see them, they appear as black lines. I only see the ones I am attuned to at the time--not attuned like Reiki people are attuned, but basically, I have to know what I'm looking at to be able to find it. I'm still learning my meridians. I'm good at kidney meridians, though! I don't know why! Healthy meridians show to me as being blue; trouble is indicated by brown and serious trouble by black.

Alpha State. This is the brain state you're in when you daydream. This is the state of mind Reiki practitioners use when they practice. I believe it is also the brain state used for jin shin and quantum touch, which are the forms of energy medicine that I primarily use.

Beta State. This is the brain state you are likely in right now--the conscious part of you that is involved when you talk.

Theta State. This is the brain state involved with REM sleep, lucid dreaming, and certain healing modalities, such as ThetaHealing and One Command and Rapid Eye Technology. I suspect this is the brain state involved with Hypnobabies, although I don't really know. When I actively attempt a waking theta state, it makes the backsides of my eyeballs itch. Yow. Last night it occurred to me to use my theta state to stop my eyeballs itching. I haven't tried accessing theta since but I guess I'll let you know if it works out. I'd love to use theta at will without that eyeball itchiness problem. [UPDATE: Totally worked. Theta no longer makes the backsides of my eyeballs itch! Yay!]

Triple Warmers. These are a special kind of meridian. I don't really fully understand them. They appear as meridians to me but are, I guess, different? Did I mention I'm still learning everything?

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

My "pseudoscientific" life

I woke up yesterday morning knowing I needed to write this post and call it--well, the title I called it! We'll see what it ends up saying!

My life began to get bizarre a while ago, but it picked up about a year ago, when I saw my first etheric cord. At the time I didn't know what I was seeing; about a month ago in my research I discovered the term and its definition and realized--other people see this too. This is a thing.

My life kind of began to be bizarre several years prior to this past year--an LDS bishop who had a gift to read the stars a la Abraham and Moses--long story--read my natal night sky in 2008 and his analysis of my stars exactly predicted all of the things that are happening to me... exactly. But at the time I didn't really understand very much. I didn't even ask for the reading--it was a gift to me from my beloved aunt. Anyway, I'll tell you my more recent story and you can just read it in the light of, this was all foretold to me in a very unique way. Additionally, I'll mention that the aforementioned bishop's analysis of my stars was extraordinarily similar to my patriarchal blessing, in unexpected ways.

That bishop has now passed on, as I understand. So, sorry, I can't get anyone in touch with him!

After my now-departed brother broke his hip in 2009, he was overdosed on morphine, which sent him into a gargantuan seizure and resulted in a hamstring contracture. Eventually hospice sent us a massage therapist to help him, but she didn't massage him. Still, he responded to her touch so I asked what she was doing.

She told me she was trained in jin shin jyutsu, and that it was easy, if I wanted to learn it. Of course I wanted to learn it. So she brought me over some books on jin shin and quantum touch and invited me to a Reiki class sponsored through hospice. I studied the books and went to the class. The class was an hour long--just a basic introduction--and then it was over. That night I practiced on various family members, who all reported tingling and other sensations as I worked.

Hey, I thought: this is so interesting. I started practicing on family and friends fairly regularly and got better and better. [Sidenote: I believe what I do is manipulate so-called "zero point energy" when I put myself in a conscious alpha state.]

The timeline gets confusing to me so I'll skip ahead: my uncle was diagnosed with cancer and I read about doing remote work of this nature. So I called up his energetic matrix and began working on it--I was very confused but I somehow saw a multitude of black golf balls all over his body. So I started working on them until they were somehow not so black. Later I discovered he had lymphoma and it registers on scans as black golf balls over the lymph nodes. I also checked in with my grandmother the next day and asked how my uncle had been the night before. She said he'd been having a rough day, but right around 9 pm (which corresponded to the time across time zones that I had begun my practice), he started feeling better.

Shortly after this I experienced my first etheric cord. I had no idea what it was and it freaked me out. I had no idea what was happening to me and I felt crazy--because I knew that stuff like that just didn't exist, yet here I was, observing it with my senses. I couldn't just tell myself it wasn't there, because I could see clearly that it was. I only learned what it was that I saw--the name "etheric cord" and its function--maybe like three weeks ago. So it's been about a year of sensing these energetic cords and not even knowing what they were. But they came up in my research and as soon as I read the description, I rejoiced: the lines I had seen were real! Other people can see them! If I'm crazy, at least I'm not alone!

Which, I suppose, is why I need to write this. For many months I have carried this bizarre secret and felt that I was crazy for seeing things that people just don't see. But the Holy Ghost, I believe, has led me to connect with a number of other people, LDS women in particular, but also some men and non-members of the Church, who are in various stages of experiencing the same things. This is a thing that is happening.

Pause while I share a scripture from the Old Testament:

  • Joel 2:28 And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:
 The Holy Bible promises that prior to the Second Coming, the Lord will pour out His Spirit, and gifts of dreams and visions and prophecy will come upon the people. All people. This kind of stuff will become more and more common up until the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

Remember also that we are living in the time of the restoration of all things. As I mentioned in my last post, I believe "all things" may well include understandings of the "wheels" mentioned in the Biblical books of Daniel and Ezekiel, as well as the mechanics of the enlargening of the soul through the Word of God mentioned by Alma in the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants, and so on and so forth. I suspect that this gift is a fulfillment of Biblical and modern prophecy.

We live in an age of miracles. An age of restoration.

So, to cut to the chase, after my first etheric cord, I didn't see much until shortly before my brother died--I saw that one of his meridians was failing and I used quantum touch to sedate it and give him some peace until he died two days later. After that I saw a few things here and there--mostly kidney meridians, randomly--until January 1, which was the day I committed to follow my intuitions and the Holy Ghost immediately every time I sensed them.

I blogged about that as well. Mere hours after I made the commitment, I had a vision of a friend's marred energetic matrix and clear instructions on what was needed to address the problem. Silly me, I didn't take the prompting seriously for a few hours because it was New Year's Day and also CRAZY, hello, but eventually I made my way over and did the work. And basically since then, well, things have just gotten weirder and weirder.

Talk about sensory overload.

I will go ahead and add that I don't See things all the time, thankfully, and it appears to be something I can turn on and off. 

Now, I suspect you are thinking as I did, that I am crazy. Well, I won't try to dissuade you. Think whatever you want. I can't hold your thoughts against you because my own life the past year and in particular the past three months has been almost unacceptably bizarre to my own self. So how could I fault you for finding it insane? I personally find it pretty insane!

I believe this new gift falls under the realm of what certain people would call parapsychology, or "pseudoscience," hence the title of this post. I loved this article about the related phenomenon of remote viewing, written by an LDS remote viewer who used to remote-view for the US Army. From the article:
Indeed, one of the most respected statisticians in the US recently concluded on the basis of her evaluation of dozens of parapsychology experiments around the world that the existence of a psi effect has been incontrovertibly proven. And a respected parapsychologist--Robert Jahn, dean emeritus of Princeton's School of Applied Engineering, as well as one of the nation's most prominent physicists--conducted a series of various psi experiments, then published impressive results that have yet to be successfully refuted by the skeptical community.

Yet the skeptics remain skeptical. The comment often heard from their ranks is that "exceptional claims can only be proved by exceptional results." In other words, the standards of proof to which conventional science is held are considered insufficient when dealing with the paranormal. This would be understandable and acceptable if it weren't for the fact that, as one prominent moderate skeptic has recently complained, the more rabid skeptics keep "moving back the goal posts" of acceptable proof as researchers present ever more convincing evidence of psi.
I believe one of the primary reasons skeptics continue so violently to reject evidence that humans indeed can function "psychically" is because of what that might mean for our current scientifically-based intellectual paradigm. Steeped in the tradition of the great Empiricist philosophers, and totally immersed in the materialist ideologies of this century's Logical Positivist thinkers, there is no room for anything that cannot be explained within our current model of the physical universe. Religion has felt the sting of this. So has parapsychology.
This paper is worth reading in its entirety, but this section is about the nature of spirits according to the doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Emphasis is mine:
As we learn from LDS teachings, our lives did not start with mortal birth, contrary to what many other religions believe. Rather, we lived in a "pre-existence" as spirits. Spirits, according to the missionary discussions I learned when I was on my mission, could speak without talking, could cross distances without walking, and could presumably through some intangible way know things about places other than where they were--all because they had as yet no physical bodies. By what we learn from the scriptures and writings of prominent early church leaders, these notions seem to be accurate.

When we come into this existence, our spirits in some way become bonded to/with our bodies. We also pass through a "veil," which prevents us from knowing anything about the spirit world from which we came. However, though we may have lost awareness of our celestial origins, it says nowhere that we lost our previously-held spiritual abilities. At most, it seems to me, we may have forgotten them along with everything else when we "came through the veil." So I suspect that whenever a person develops some sort of "psychic" skill, he or she is just "remembering"--usually in rather imperfect form--spiritual abilities and skills they have always possessed, but only fleetingly and vaguely recall while in mortality. In this case, remote viewing may indeed be an attempt at "spiritual seeing" filtered through the heavy screen--"a glass darkly"--of our physical mental processes.

Anyway. Is my current life "pseudoscientific?" Sure! Why not. I won't argue with you. This stuff is pretty weird. However, I personally can't deny that it is real. And I will add that in my energetic practice, I have witnessed the diminishing of pain both physical and emotional, the spontaneous movements associated with energetic release, changes in emotional states, and even the realigning of bones. So, "science" may not be able to prove or disprove this stuff, but it is my conviction, and I believe, the belief of those whom I have helped, that it is a real phenomenon.

Somehow, the world is beginning to awaken, to remember these spiritual abilities that we all once had and considered normal when we were spirits.

Weird? Yeah. But there we go.

Monday, April 7, 2014

spirit, the subtle body, and avoiding condemnation

I have been thinking a lot about my last post, and had further thoughts on it. First thought: although I used the word "judgements" throughout the post, a better word for what I meant was "condemnations." I am all about discernment, which is to say, righteous judgement of people and situations, telling the difference between good and bad and truth and error, but I am increasingly against condemnation: mere people swathing those with whom they disagree in the nebulous robes of negative assumptions and condemnations. God alone condemns. We can't know people's motivations or intents, and even if we can, we can't know if someone will or won't repent, and it's our job to assume the best of people and to forgive.

My thoughts begin with the energetic body. Ezekiel 1 teaches that the spirit is in the "wheels," a word which corresponds to the Sanskrit word also translated as "chakras." Note in Ezekiel 1 how the wheels are described, particularly in connection with color--verse 28 compares the colors involved here to a rainbow. This is in keeping with the ancient understanding of the chakra system:

From this introduction to chakras.
Note how each chakra corresponds to a color that ends up looking like a rainbow. Also note that there are seven of them (notable for the number's theological significance).

The prophet Daniel also describes the "wheels," or chakras, of Father Adam, the Ancient of Days (my emphasis):

 ¶I beheld till the athrones were bcast down, and the cAncient of days did sit, whose dgarment was white as snow, and the hair of his head like the pure wool: his throne was like the fiery flame, and his ewheels as burning fire.

People who have had near-death experiences (NDEs) have occasionally spoken of a kind of "spiritual DNA" that is apparent in spirits after death. By merely beholding a person, one is able to "see" everything that they have done in their life. Sarah LaNelle Menet, an atheist who became a Latter-day Saint after her miraculous NDE, asserts that the miracle of repentance is that it deletes and replaces portions of negative "spiritual DNA."

It is my observation, from research and personal experience (did I mention my life has gotten super weird lately?) that this explanation of "spiritual DNA" is accurate, and that this "spiritual DNA" is really just another word for the energetic, or "subtle" body. Our subtle bodies record our every action and thought energetically, and to one with discerning eyes, is readable (see D&C 131:7). It is also my observation that the actions done to us and thoughts thought about us are recorded in the subtle body, which I feel makes sense in the context of a bunch of scriptures that maybe I'll dig into in a future blog post if anyone cares to know more.

The chakra system is one of a few systems that make up the so-called "subtle body." Other systems include the meridian system, the triple-warmer system, and the biofield.

Jesus Christ and apostles illuminated by inner light emanating from the crown chakra.
When I mentioned my experience interacting with someone's negative thoughts about me, what was happening was a negative thought from someone else had entered my biofield--the space a person's energy takes up in the area physically around them. The aura, if you will--the same space I believe is portrayed in art by way of halos around the Lord Jesus Christ and His most devoted servants (Mary, Joseph, apostles).

It is my observation that righteousness does indeed cause what Alma termed an expansion of the soul, or an enlargement of the soul. This is why particularly righteous people can seem to shine: that light visible to some people is a combination of a soul enlarged by the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the light that comes along with hearkening to the voice of the Spirit. It is my suspicion that the act of baptism by immersion and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost by someone with the authority of the Priesthood opens the crown chakra (seventh chakra) and the Third Eye (sixth chakra). These two chakras respectively connect one with God and open one's intuitive Sight and perception--the ability to sense and feel the Holy Ghost. Fodder for another post, but this would explain the brightness that surrounds baptized and covenant-keeping members of God's Restored Church that is absent in other members of the population, even the believing Christian population, that I have observed.

In my own life, I have become increasingly sensitive to the subtle body. That has led me to become very proactive in the clearing and protection of my own subtle body, because I am seeing very literally how negative entities interact with, manipulate, and dam the flow of the subtle bodies of those who do not consciously protect themselves. I believe my new emphasis on spiritual clearing is why I was able to so clearly sense it when my biofield was invaded by another person's negative thought. When a biofield is healthy and clear, an invading negative entity is easy to "see;" it stands out.

Rendition of the female chakra system, from here.
Now, this leads me to my other thought: just as male and female physical bodies differ, so do male and female energetic bodies differ. While the male physical body is penetrating, so the male subtle body is emanating. While the female physical body is receptive, the female subtle body is absorbent. The male subtle body is rooted, if you will, in the root, or first, chakra. But the female subtle body is rooted in the second chakra, the one physically located in the complex nervous web surrounding the womb. My research and my observations up to this time are consistent with the assertion that negative entities can easily get sucked into the female sacral (second) chakra. It is my suspicion that this has a lot to do with the fact that unipolar depression is twice as common in women as in men. Women who do not guard their physical and subtle bodies are at higher risk of absorption and incorporation of negative energetic entities.

[Side note: all chakras are absorbent--the word "chakra" can also be translated as "vortex." But in my research and observation, the female energetic body is more absorbent than the male energetic body.]

The incorporation of negative energy into the human subtle body has a damming effect. While a healthy subtle body is flowing, like a river, negative energies dam the flow. These energetic dams correspond to physical, emotional, and spiritual problems.

As an example, a woman I know whose throat chakra is hyperactive suffers from a thyroid disease and a chronic excess of phlegm in that region. One woman with a splayed heart chakra suffers from the swelling of cartilage around the rib cage. In turn, that throat and that rib cage have a darkness around them in the biofield and the meridian system. So all the processes--the meridians, "wheels" or chakras, biofield, and physical body--work together and are equally impacted by the dams created by negative energy.

SO to go back to my original thought from yesterday:

It is my observation that we create negative energy ourselves through our condemning thoughts. I now perceive, thanks to the experience I blogged yesterday, that we do not only create negative energy in our own space, but also in the space that corresponds with the subject of our negative thoughts. This seems to me to be in keeping with the quantum mechanical principle of spooky action at a distance, and makes sense to me in the context of quantum entanglement. When we conceive of a thought, the particles involved with that thought interact, then separate, existing in multiple places at once. It is my hypothesis that we keep a copy of the negative energy with us, and simultaneously, an identical match occurs in the other person's biofield.

This negativity is "spiritual burlap" to both parties involved, but without a heightened sensitivity and an awareness of exactly what is happening, the parties involved would only notice the side effects: a spiritual itchiness, a feeling of discomfort and unease, an unexplained anger or feeling of upset, a desire to shrink into oneself for protection. Writing this out, I wonder if this is exactly the sort of thing that causes people's biofields to shrink around them--something I have noticed in people whose bodies are full of negative energy. I wonder if the biofield shrinking is an attempt at protection; after all, if the biofield is smaller, there is less space for negative energy to occupy in it.

Of course, that strategy would backfire, because if it is true that negative energies exist simultaneously with both the thinker and the subject of negative thoughts, those energies would still have to occupy biofield space--but because the physical area of said space would be smaller, it would end up incorporated not in the biofield but inside the meridian system or the chakra system. This would explain my observations of people whose biofields are remarkably small. To me, these people seem almost absurdly sensitive to negative energies around them, sucking them up and into their bodies like sponges. It is a curious thing to behold.

This blog entry is getting really long. I'm amazed you're still reading it. So I'll wrap up all this esoteric craziness.

In conclusion;

1. Thoughts are things and when we think a thought, particularly about another person, it is my supposition at this time that the thought creates a physical change in the biofield around both the thinker and the subject of thought. This thought can easily be incorporated into the chakra or meridian systems, or remain in the biofield, to wreak havoc by causing energetic blockages if it is negative. On the other hand, if it is positive, as in prayer or "good vibes" or something, that good energy would exist in both people's biofields, and help to clear negative energy instead.

2. This is why it is so important to repent of negative thoughts and actions (well, actions--because I now count thoughts as actions!): because it is only through repentance (i.e., a complete change of heart that no longer permits that type of negative thought-form and behavior--a change that is only truly possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ) that we can permanently clear negativity from our energetic bodies. Here is a great article from prophet Spencer W. Kimball about how to repent. I like how he specifically says "sin has size and dimensions." Energetically I feel this is much truer and much more literal than most people probably understand.

3. This is why it is so important to forgive other people's negative actions and thoughts toward you: this deserves its own blog post, but it suddenly occurs to me that the negative thought that plagued me the other day stopped annoying me as soon as I concluded that I was grateful for it and forgave the person who thought it about me. I suspect that forgiveness is what clears other people's negative energies from our presence. Here is a great article from the January 2014 Ensign on the importance of forgiveness.

Note this paragraph:

In his last general conference address, President James E. Faust (1920–2007), Second Counselor in the First Presidency, cited this definition of forgiveness: “Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.”2
Again, perhaps more literal than most people realize!

The Apostle Paul taught to speak the truth in love. I read someone's analysis of this the other day, and her conclusion was to speak the truth in love and remember that if something is spoken (or thought, or done) without love, it isn't true. Truth Sees with love.

Love, people. The end.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

negative thoughts and wearing spiritual burlap

I haven't been blogging very much for two reasons: first, my old computer (from 2006!) was on the verge of Ultimate Death, and second, I wasn't sure what to say. My life has gotten extremely interesting, but I have felt weird talking about how very interesting it has gotten.

BUT I just got a new computer, and I am happy to report that it is fantastic. Shiny, chrome, MacBook Pro. I love it. Many thanks to my family and my dad in particular! It was a (late) Christmas present. (I decided I didn't want a new computer until my old one had completely died.)

So now I will have to blog more, as I feel more comfortable sharing my thoughts with the world. It's hard to know what to say when I don't want to be involved in Controversy. Ugh. I'm so over that. Arguments just make me roll my eyes. Judgements of all types, I just hate them now. Even though I still make them. Ugh.

It's funny because one of my favorite things to do in the past was rail about various politicians that are destroying the country. Yes, I still believe they are destroying the country. But nowadays, I don't feel anger with them as much as I just feel sadness and an aversion to assuming that I know their hearts. For all we know, they have America's best interests at heart.

Okay, I honestly do not believe they do, but I also honestly am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. I want to assume the best of people. I never wanted to do that before--at least not so thoroughly--but these days, I really do. I learned that expecting or believing the negative about others is really just a drain on me. And it hurts them too, even if I never say my negative thoughts out loud. Even if I never act on them.

One of my many recent life changes has involved a heightened sensitivity to all sorts of things. I've always been sensitive to weird things, vibrations outside the typical human range--I can hear certain animal whistles, as an example, and my hands react badly to the radiation involved with laptops and cell phones--but now it's gotten pretty intense. The other day, I was just minding my own business, and I had this horrible feeling come over me, and a very clear understanding enter my mind that someone out there in this world was thinking something specifically negative about specifically me. And that knowledge, and the sensation of that negative thought... they just irritated me.

Not in the sense of, "UGH I'M SO IRRITATED ABOUT THIS," but in the sense of like touching a dairy product irritates my son's skin. Like an allergen irritates. Like wearing burlap would irritate.

That negative thought buzzing around me courtesy of someone else was like wearing spiritual burlap. It almost hurt, in this weird spiritual way. And when I realized this, I realized: I never want to make someone else feel like this. This is so uncomfortable.

I don't know what the negative thought was or who was thinking it, but I do know that I'm grateful to them for it. It taught me a valuable lesson. I am just barely beginning to understand the power of repentance and forgiveness when it comes to our spirits and our bodies. But it is becoming increasingly clear to me that thoughts literally are things, and they actually physically affect people.

I began to wonder if some of my past low points in life were due in part to other people's negative thoughts about me, and I just didn't realize it. Of course, at the two times I am thinking of, I knew that other people involved in my life weren't happy with me, and I wasn't happy with them either. A lot of it was my fault. I figured I was just upset because I was in a lame situation. But now I wonder if part of my being upset was that being upset is the natural consequence of wearing the spiritual burlap associated with other people's negative thoughts about you. Does that even make sense? I don't know. I'm still feeling my way through this. My mind is being opened up to so many possibilities I had never even considered prior to my recent increase in sensitivity.

Here's the long and short of it: I don't want to judge anyone anymore. I don't want to pretend I know their thoughts. I don't want to pretend I'm better than anyone. I'm not. I am not, I am not, I am not.

It's kind of like learning a new skill. Once you get all right at it, you think: man! I'm so good at this!

And then you get better, and you start realizing how good people can be, and then you're like: holy cow, I am so not even that good. I am not even mediocre.

And then you develop an inferiority complex. Hopefully not! But I know for me, I once upon a hilarious time thought I was good at piano and music, and now I know the truth, which is, yeah right. At the very most, I am basically okay. Maybe a decent intermediate with some potential for improvement. But in a world that produced Mozart, I think it takes a lot for someone to think they're good at music, when it really comes down to it. Realizing the vastness of the scales involved in universal measurement makes a person realize that their own range is really not that impressive.

The point is, I know in my own life I used to think I was better than other people. Not all other people, by any means, but you know how it goes. I suspect this is an inborn trait in people. It's because we only see things from our own perspectives and it is easy to form uninformed opinions about people and stick to them.

Nowadays, I just realize so clearly how much I have absolutely no, no, no business judging anybody. NO BUSINESS. I know it. I'm not always 100% great at implementing my new non-judgment, but I'm trying. It's been a habit of mine to mindlessly jump in and start judging things, I guess as a form of twisted entertainment. But I'm over it. Since it's what people expect of me, particularly when it comes to political things, I sometimes find myself dragged into it still, but really, I'm over it. Psychologically, I am just not interested in participating in that anymore. To the extent that I do it now, it's largely because of social pressures.

Kind of like my weird new sensitivities to bizarre stimuli. Five years ago, I would never have believed in this kind of weird stuff. Well, maybe I would. I've always been kind of bizarre. Remember that I can hear deer whistles and stuff. I can hear the sound of an electronic merely being on, from a floor away and across the house. Whatever. But these days, I find myself becoming extremely open-minded to the possibilities involved with the workings of the human entity.

Let's put it this way: if you had experienced what I have experienced in the past three months... oh man. You would probably have a very open concept of human consciousness and human potential. The many things I have learned since this time last year have been humbling.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio...