Our bodies are tools; they are machines; they are powerful creators with powerful needs.
When our bodies' needs are not being met, our bodies can manufacture the molecules (or "brain chemistry") of emotion to try and get our attention.
Last year or the year before, I was having a truly terrible time dealing with my two-year-old. Just thinking about her would give me heart palpitations. I loved her--but I just couldn't be near her. A single touch from her would make my skin crawl.
One day I was telling a friend about this and my struggle. I was releasing emotions like crazy, doing tons of energy work on myself and my child and our relationship, and yet my body would still physically react to this kid. I couldn't figure it out.
Fortunately, in addition to being energetically gifted, my friend was also a nutritionist. She said: "Oh, don't feel bad. Don't feel guilty. It's just your body trying to give you a message. You're nutritionally depleted and manufacturing emotions of trauma is the only way your body has to tell you."
When she explained it, it made so much sense. I'd been pregnant, nursed Baby #1 through my pregnancy with Baby #2 (the child in question), and then nursed Baby #2 all through my pregnancy with Baby #3--and I was still nursing this two-year-old even though I was also nursing her baby brother.
The fact was, my body was nutritionally depleted. It was really struggling to keep up with so much nursing and the fact was, my two-year-old was very able to sustain herself on regular food.
I didn't loathe my toddler; not really. My body was reacting with heart palpitations, stress, and skin-crawly-feelings when she came close because it was trying to tell me: STOP NURSING THIS KID!! REPLETE YOUR NUTRIENTS!!!
What a blessing that I figured out that then, instead of honestly believing I didn't like my child. I love my girl and I am so glad she's in my life. But my body was being physically depleted of nutrients by the nature of my relationship with her, and something had to change--so my body reacted by creating negative emotional feelings in an attempt to get my conscious attention. If I had been listening to my body more closely, maybe I would have weaned her sooner. As soon as she was weaned, our relationship and my emotions around her got SO much better.
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